the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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