I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize