You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
