just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
