I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
