I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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