This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
