I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
