I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
