i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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