Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
