i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
