They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
