Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
