i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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