you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
