You really coming over, don't trick.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
