My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
