Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
sex in a hospital.. check
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
