what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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