i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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