I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
