IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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