Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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