You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
