Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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