I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
