you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
