I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
