turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
