Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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