Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
