never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
