I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize