Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
