If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
