I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I cut my penus on the lid.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
