I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
