just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
pray to the hookup gods
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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