My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
