I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
