i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize