So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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