I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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