Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
