Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
