Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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