He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We are two peas in an std pod
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
