Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
