He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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