he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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