Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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