Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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