i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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