her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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