my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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