i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
