Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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