Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
