I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
