All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
