Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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