dude i'm inner monologue high
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
