You made me cry and you don't even care
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
