i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
