You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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