Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
