My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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