I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
