all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
