so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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