So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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