I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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