she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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