oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
