We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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